I have always been afraid of not having a child ever since I was a kid. That fear of the unknown began when I was in elementary school. I was a sickly boy and my mother often brought me to a doctor for regular check-up. THe doctor would always recommend that I undergo X-ray to see if there’s something wrong inside me. Sometimes, I even suspected that this practice was just the doctor’s racket to gain extra income.
Anyway, one time I decided to eavesdrop on my Mother’s conversation with the doctor . “Doc totoo bang nakakabaog ang palaging pagpapa-x-ray?” my mother asked. “Hindi naman, basta wag lang araw-araw.,” the doctor answered. Huh?
So I started to research on the subject matter by asking my friends and my mother’s kumares – “totoo bang nakakbaog ang palaging pagpapa-X-ray?”
Majority of the responses that I got was very alarming : “oo nakakabaog talaga yan.”
Though I never got the chance to confirm this through a doctor or the internet (which has not yet ” the in thing ” at that time) the idea of becoming “baog” or infertile stuck to my mind ever since!
Fast Forward to 2003, I got married. And when I found out that Tin-Tin was pregnant, I was the happiest person on earth. Aside from the fact that I was having a kid, the fear of the unknown finally ended – HINDI AKO BAOG!!!
Kidding aside, Fatherhood has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have always had a soft spot for kids (not the MJ way ha!). When I was still single and in College I enjoyed the times when would look after my pamangkins, Joshua, Bianca and Justin.
But they’re all grown-up now. Joshua is now working in New York, Bianca and Justin are already in high school in the Big Apple. I cherished the moments when I would play with them, take them to the beach and just make kulitan with them.
Now that I have a kid of my own and another one coming, I try to be the best father that I can be.
With Anya, I try very hard to devote a moment with her each day. Whenever I look at her, I notice that there’s always something different about her everyday. That means she’s growing and growing fast.
I have seen this in my pamangkins and believe me those moments just pass by with speed and one day when you look at their pictures, you tell them, “ang lalaki nyo na! ” For Christ’s sake, look at the Harry Potter movies!!! Ang laki na nina Harry Potter di ba ? binata na ! at si Hermione, dalaga na ! Before I know it, my own Anya, dalaga na rin at nililigawan na ! I dread the thought ! Basta ang masasabi ko, ang mga manliligaw ng anak ko someday, dadaan talaga sa butas ng karayom ni Mr XXX !
Seriously, sometimes I wish that time would slowdown a little more so I can still enjoy my daughter’s childhood a little longer.
But what can I do? As parents we just have to accept this reality and try to cherish evey moment with our kids as they grow-up.
I am thankful to the Lord that we have been blessed with another baby. As I write this, Tintin is on her 3rd month of pregnancy. That also means that we will go through another difficult…challenging but fun and enjoyable parenting process as our baby grows up , first, in the womb for the next 6months more , and then to raise our 2nd child ( sana BOY this time ! ) to be a fine, God-fearing, Parent- obedient, Nation -loving person that he or she could ever be in this world.
That, and a handful of prayers.